Therapy Chat Podcast Episode 22: Handwashing As A Self Care Practice?

Therapy Chat Podcast Episode 22: Handwashing As A Self Care Practice? 

When you take care of yourself, then you take care of clients.
— Ashley Davis Bush

In case you missed it, I was so lucky to interview Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW on my podcast, which is newly renamed Therapy Chat. Click here to listen to past episodes of Therapy Chat. Ashley is a psychotherapist in private practice in southern New Hampshire with over 25 years’ experience. She has written six self-help books, including Transcending Loss and Simple Self-Care for Therapists. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and has some great tips to share with us about increasing our self-care. Join us! Click here or on the image to the right to listen to Episode 22.

Click on the image above to listen to my interview with Ashley Davis Bush!

Click on the image above to listen to my interview with Ashley Davis Bush!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Ashley loves her work and counts it a privilege to be part of peoples’ lives. Her private practice is in her home, and it’s “a fun job, watching life unfold in front of you.”
  • Even the simple choice of working from home can be a self-care choice.
  • Ashley’s work focuses on grief, couples, and anxiety, but self-care is a common thread that is woven into her work with all clients.
  • Ashley says that much of her practice patterns itself after her books.
  • Her most recent book introduces the idea of “micro self-care.”
  • “Macro self-care” practices are the big things that we normally think of regarding self-care, but micro practices are short, simple things that can be done in 1-2 minutes.
  • Ashley focuses on self-care to avoid burnout, which she categorizes as “little b” and “BIG B” types of burnout.
    • “little b” burnout is when you are exhausted at the end of the day or week. You may need a good night’s rest or a few days off to regenerate and recover.
    • “BIG B” burnout is when you need to leave the field because you can’t take it anymore.
  • Ashley addresses “vicarious trauma,” in that ALL therapists do some sort of trauma work.
  • Personal and professional experience can cloud the lens with which we see the world, but life’s pains are a constant trauma.
  • Ashley explains self-care vs. self-violence: when you don’t take care of yourself, then you’re doing harm (violence) to yourself.
  • Mindfulness leads to grounding, bringing us into this moment right now.
  • Ashley shares her Tibetan bell practice to help bring clients into mindfulness.
  • She recommends using micro self-care practices at the beginning, middle, and end of your day.
  • Ashley’s book lists 40-50 suggestions as to how to scale down macro self-care practices into small micro practices. It's amazing!
  • Making the transformation from macro to micro self-care practices requires thinking creatively, but shouldn’t be overwhelming.
  • Neuroplasticity is the science that shows the brain can change in response to repetitive behaviors. You can rewire your brain to be more peaceful!
  • When your brain is rewired, then your default setting comes to a place of gratitude and feeling good.
  • Ashley’s three takeaways:
    • Have a basic plan for 3 micro self-care practices each day.
    • Sleep 8-9 hours each night so you aren’t tired during the day. You can tell from our interview that Ashley is well-rested! 
    • Prioritize self-care, and you’ll soon realize that you can’t live without it!
    • Be aware of the seasons of life, but regardless of the season, you can fit in micro self-care every day!
  • Find Ashley at www.ashleydavisbush.com
Everyone has 3 minutes a day in which to do something nice for themselves.
— Ashley Davis Bush

I'm so grateful that Ashley agreed to share her wisdom on the podcast. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! If you liked this episode, please visit iTunes to download episodes, rate and review! You can also listen on Stitcher and Google Play (available now in some areas). And for more of what I'm doing, please  sign up for my newsletter, and follow me TwitterFacebookPinterest Instagram & Google+. I look forward to connecting!

Wholeheartedly,

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C

 

 

Connecting With Your Own Needs: Vulnerability in Action

Connecting With Your Own Needs: Vulnerability in Action An Interview with Dr. Agnes Wainman, the Self Care Activist

Recently I was fortunate that Dr. Agnes Wainman of London Psychological Services in Ontario, Canada - also known as The Self Care Activist - allowed me to interview her about self care for The Baltimore Annapolis Psychotherapy Podcast. 

Agnes and I had an interesting (and funny, in my opinion) interview in which we discussed society's unreasonable, unrealistic and unattainable expectations of women which encourage us to neglect our own needs and see self care as indulgent. We talked about how social media can make our relationships with our children, our partners, our friends and ourselves more difficult than they need to be. Agnes shared her own journey from "burned out to blissed out" as a mother of newborn twins and doctoral student and the lessons she learned about vulnerability and authentic connection. She shocked me by telling me what Canada does to support new mothers! 

CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE #16 WITH DR. AGNES WAINMAN

CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO LISTEN TO PODCAST EPISODE #16 WITH DR. AGNES WAINMAN

Click on the image to listen to Episode 16 of the podcast and if you'd like to hear more of what Agnes has to say, check out her website: www.londonps.ca or visit her YouTube channel where she shares tips and tricks to incorporate self care into your life.  

What did you think of this episode? I'd love to hear your comments! You can also rate and review the podcast on iTunes by clicking here. And if you'd like to hear more from me you can sign up for my occasional newsletter! I don’t send them out unless I have something I want you to know, and you can unsubscribe any time you want. You can also follow me  on TwitterFacebookPinterestInstagram and Google+. To listen to my weekly podcast, search the Baltimore Annapolis Psychotherapy Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher and (coming soon) Google Play. Or click here to listen via my website. 

Wholeheartedly,

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C

Using Self Care to Nourish Your Soul & Fall In Love With Yourself

Using Self Care to Nourish Your Soul & Fall In Love With Yourself

The Baltimore Annapolis Psychotherapy Podcast Interview With Herbalist & Healer Chonteau McElvin

If you've read my blog before now you might remember my series on holistic and alternative practices that can complement traditional psychotherapy approaches. I interviewed Chonteau McElvin, a life coach, herbalist and healer who was trained as a social worker, for that series. Her interview is here.   I'm honored that Chonteau also agreed to appear on the podcast to speak more in depth about how self care can be used to nourish your soul and help you fall in love with yourself. 

In our conversation, Chonteau and I discussed how we as helpers - whether social worker, life coach, psychotherapist, counselor, pastor, body worker, physician, nurse, firefighter, physical therapist, teacher, parent, caregiver or friend - tend to place a high value on taking care of others while our own self care is neglected. This is not new information - we have all heard about the need to take care of ourselves so we can take care of others.

But do you really get it on a soul level? Chonteau does. She speaks about how she uses herbal tinctures and blends, together with parts work and energy healing methods to help you fall in love with yourself so you can use self care to nourish your soul. She works with clients in person in Central Florida and online. 

You can find more information on working with Chonteau on her beautiful website which lists her offerings in detail. I hope you will enjoy listening to this fascinating conversation about self care! 

Click on the image below to listen to the episode. 

 

You can find more episodes of the Baltimore Washington Psychotherapy Podcast by clicking here to listen on iTunes. You can listen directly from your PC by clicking here.  If you like what you hear on the podcast, please consider subscribing on iTunes so you will be updated when each new episode is posted! I'd also be honored if you would take a moment to write an honest review. 

Please feel free to comment and let me know what you think of my interview with Chonteau! I'd love your feedback about the podcast and any future topics you'd like to hear discussed. I also love connecting on social media. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Google +! You can sign up here to receive my occasional e-mail newsletters. I can't wait to hear from you!

Wholeheartedly,

Laura Reagan, LCSW-C

 

Self Care Blog Series Round Up

To make it easier for you to find the series of articles on self care I've collected them on this page. I will add to the list as new articles are posted. 

Rethinking Self Care 

Therapists Share Their Self Care Tips

Self Care Apps Recommended By Therapists 

Self Care is Essential for Health

 

Feel free to share these if you think someone you know will benefit, and post them on social media! You can also follow me on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. I look forward to connecting with you! To talk about working together in therapy contact me at (443) 510-1048 or by clicking here to send me a message.

Self-Care Apps Recommended by Therapists

I've been surprised to realize how many apps are out there which can help support self care. Did you know? If you've visited this blog before, you know that I often talk about ways to treat oneself with nurturing, love and compassion. This is the latest post in my blog series on self care

I have a few apps I use to facilitate my personal self care practice, which I've listed below. I asked a few of my colleagues to share some they have tried as well. I'd love to hear your suggestions! Please comment below with your favorites! Read on below the photo for the recommendations! 

Therapists Share Favorite Self Care Apps

Apps for Mindfulness

Insight Timer  Susan Faurot, MSC, LMFT in California recommends this app. It is available for Apple and Android. You can set the timer for the period you want to meditate, and the app rings a Tibetan singing bowl sound to let you know when the time is up.

Another who recommends this app is Helen Caldwell, LCSW in Long Beach, CA. Helen states, "Insight Timer is a wonderful app for mindfulness meditation for beginners through those with more practice experience. I love that you can pick different styles of meditation bells to prompt the beginning and end of your silent meditation. The app also includes guided meditations by experts in the field."

Calm I learned about this app from Kelly Higdon, LMFT in Laguna Hills, California. Can I just say...I LOVE THIS APP!!! It's a new favorite. As I wrote this article I wanted to do a little research on the app - Kelly didn't say much about it - so I looked up the website (www.calm.com) and immediately I was drawn in. 

I'm a huge fan of the beach. It's definitely my happy place, where I feel relaxed, peaceful, calm, joyful and carefree. I was able to select a beach scene depicting an ocean at sunset, complete with the sights and sounds of waves crashing and seagulls. I was hooked immediately. You may have a different happy place and that's okay, because there are over a dozen to choose from. I'd like to have this on my computer screen at all times, but I fear I'd doze off because it is just so darn relaxing. In fact, I am listening to the waves crashing as I type this and I'm feeling very blissful. So thank you Kelly!

I hope you enjoy the app as much as I do, whether you use it on your mobile device or on your computer.  In addition to the relaxing sights and sounds of the app, you can choose to use it for meditation. For beginners there is a 7 day introduction to mindfulness which guides you through starting a daily meditation practice and includes daily reminders. I started the 7 day intro today, since I do not meditate as regularly as I would like. Look for an update in a future post on how well that worked for me.

Study - recommended by Amy Sugeno, LCSW in Marble Falls, Texas, who says, "Study (free for Android and Apple)..is 45 minutes of nature and bird sounds that are supposed to help relieve stress, block out distractions (like at work or school), and increase productivity. After 45 minutes, it suggests you take a short break - sometimes it helps to just have that reminder!"  

Looking for more recommendations?  Also, Mindful magazine posted this list which includes their review of Headspace along with a couple others.

Apps for Sleep

Relax Melodies - recommended by Fresno, CA therapist Patty Behrens, LMFT, who states, " Relax Melodies is an app I have recommended to clients to calm themselves and for sleep. It has a variety of different sounds you can layer onto each other, binaural beats for relaxation or concentration and a timer to go off on its own." Sounds like another one I'd like to try!

Omvana - this is one I have used personally and I often recommend to clients. You can choose from several different relaxing sounds of varying lengths, put them on a timer so your device isn't running the app all night long, and it has a mixer. Some of the content is free and additional content can be downloaded for a fee. The app includes guided meditations in addition to the soothing sleep sounds. 

Sleep Cycle and Sleep Bot - both of these are recommended by my colleague Erin Findley, Psy.D., in San Francisco, CA. Erin writes, "I really like Sleep Cycle and Sleep Bot. Personally, I prefer Sleep Cycle, but the two useful things Sleep Bot does that Sleep Cycle doesn't is it tracks your sleep debt, and it also can record sound above a certain level at night if you're wondering if you're snoring, sleep talking, etc."

Apps for Fitness

Keeping our bodies healthy is such an important part of self care. After all, if your body stops working, you are forced to take care of it, whether you want to or not. Better yet, keep it healthy day after day and hopefully it will be strong for you throughout your lifetime. This is something I can do better with, but I try to remain focused on getting regular exercise. When I'm consistent with exercise I reap the rewards physically and emotionally. It's never too late to start or re-start healthy habits. 

Yoga Studio  Another app recommended by Helen Caldwell, LCSW. "This is a wonderful app that allows you to take a yoga class from the comfort of your home, office or anywhere you have your smart phone or tablet. You can take a quick 15 minute, 30 minute, or hour class at varying levels. You can even make up your own class based on your favorite poses," Helen explains. This sounds very useful, definitely something I'd like to try! 

Up Alicia Taverner, LMFT in Rancho Cucamonga, CA, recommends this app. Alicia says, "I use the jawbone up24 with the app and I absolutely love it! It tracks your sleep patterns and steps throughout the day and vibrates to remind you when you need to get moving." I actually have the Jawbone Up fitness tracker as well, and was using it with the app for a while, but I got off track. Time to get back to it!  

My Fitness Pal is another app I've used for tracking healthy eating and exercise. It works with various trackers but you can use it without them as well, by entering the information manually. It also has exercise routines, tips and healthy recipes. 

Apps for Inspiration

Louise Hay's Affirmation Meditations I use this app personally and with clients. Affirmations can be very effective at injecting some positive self-talk into the constant chatter going on in our heads. Many people know Louise Hay as a founder of the self-help movement. She has done so much to promote positive thinking and healing, and I find this app to be easy to use, effective and inspirational. It is free but some paid content is available as well.

5 Minute Journal: A third recommendation by Helen Caldwell, LCSW in California.  Helen says, "I often recommend the practice of journaling but some clients find the practice daunting and benefit from prompts. This app requires little time. Under 5 minutes!  The app prompts you to write in the morning and then again in the evening. There's an inspiring quote as soon as you open the app. The app focuses on gratitude, positive affirmations and short term goal setting."

I love the focus on gratitude, which is a path to joy and can be a type of mindfulness practice, as well. And I'm a sucker for inspirational quotes. I'm definitely downloading this one.

Other Apps for Self Care

Intend - Susan Faurot, MSC, LMFT recommends this one, saying "Intend is really cool!" As I understand it, Intend helps remind you of intentions you set. For example, if your intention is to feel more confident, you can program the app to send you random reminders throughout the day such as, "be confident."  

Virtual Hope Box This app, which was developed by the Department of Defense and the VA, is pretty awesome. I can't believe it is free, considering the breadth of what it offers. Amy Sugeno, LCSW praised this app, saying, "I love the Virtual Hope Box by t2Health for Android and Apple (free). It gives several immediate options for coping with stress and regulating your emotions - distraction, meditation, relaxation, etc." 

I have to agree with Amy. I've recommended this app to clients for help coping with trauma symptoms. You can upload photos of important people, your favorite songs, inspirational quotes, videos, and so much more to personalize the app with things that you find comforting. 

Mindfulness Fitness Sleep Inspiration Self Care

I would love to hear about any apps you have tried for promoting self care. Did you love them? Hate them? Share in the comments below!

Disclaimer: I have received no compensation for sharing information about these apps. Please use your own judgment before downloading any apps. I don't know for sure if you will like them! Of course, no app can substitute for mental health treatment when needed. I hope this list is useful to you. I welcome your feedback. 

To read more of what I share, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest. You can also sign up for my e-mail newsletter for updates on groups, intensives and workshops as well as recent blog posts. 

 

 

Therapists Share Their Self-Care Tips

Welcome to the second article in my blog series on self care. A lot of my therapist colleagues have been thinking and writing about self care lately. Some great posts on this subject have been written recently by Jodie Gale and Sarah Leitschuh. I asked several therapists to share their favorite self care tips. Hopefully this list will inspire you to make a more conscious effort to put yourself first! 

Nurture yourself!

Zoe Cryns, M.A., Portland, OR Never underestimate the power of sitting in sunshine to help offset the 'winter blues'. I take time to get sunshine when it's available, especially here in northern climes, to maintain a positive physiology.

Alicia Taverner, LMFT - Rancho Cucamonga, CA I use exercise and healthy eating for self care. Even if I can't fit in a class at the gym or a full hour of yoga I've recently started to let myself off the hook a little and do even 15 minutes of yoga or meditative stretching. Being a new mom and building a business along with working full time doesn't allow much extra time and something always ends up getting cut short and that's something I'm learning to be okay with. It's okay to just take a quick 10 minute walk on a break at work to get moving and count your blessings! 

Peg Shippert, LPC - Boulder, CO I often recommend that people use their waiting time (in lines, on the phone, at the doctor's office etc.) to practice belly breathing. Just mindfully breathing deeply several times a day can really help get our nervous systems better regulated! I'm always telling people that self care is not about doing one specific thing necessarily. It's about listening to what you need and making time for it. It could be talking to a friend, or taking a break, or getting outside, or even just getting a glass of water. As long as that's what you feel like you need in that moment. I definitely use the practices I mentioned myself. The breathing while I'm waiting does a couple of things: 1) turns those wasted minutes that used to frustrate me into a time to do something positive for myself, 2) connects me with my body and calms my nervous system. The checking in to ask myself what I need has helped in all kinds of ways. It increases my self compassion and encourages me to treat myself with care. I also find that a lot of times, what I need is to talk to someone, and that isn't my go to self care activity. So, when I check in and find that's what I want, and honor it by reaching out to someone else, it really enriches my relationships. 

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW – Huntington Beach, CA Writing and/or journaling is a strategy I encourage my clients to do as well as one that I frequently do. I feel that writing gets your thoughts -- whether positive or negative -- out of your head and into a space where you can process them. I also feel that writing organizes your jumbled thoughts so you can sort through what's going on for you. Even something as simple as writing a to do list, or jotting down a quick positive affirmation, is enough to shift your mood and change your thoughts.

Steven G. Brownlow, Ph.D.  I focus people on belly breathing, making sure they slow way down--maybe 4-5 breaths a minute, total, without ever holding their breath. This resets heart rate variability (and thus emotional regulation), as well as the blood's ability to effectively deliver oxygen. It also reduces stress-related illness markedly. 

Michelle Pointon Farris, LMFT - San Jose, CA. I talk to clients about shifting their focus onto self-care and how important it is to create time for yourself. Exercise, and social time having fun is talked about a lot!

Shirani Pathak, LCSW - San Jose, CA I recommend that clients stop watching the news. I don't watch the news and I find my life to be much more peaceful because of it. It keeps me from worrying about all the bad stuff going on in the world.

Colleen King, LMFT  - Sacramento, CA. My favorite way to practice self-care is using mindfulness along with belly breathing. An easy and fun way to do this is to focus on the small wonders of nature in the moment. Go outside and notice the patterns in a leaf, or the color variations of the clouds, or the shapes created in between the bare branches of winter trees. I incorporate all the senses to help people become fully immersed in the moment. Feel the softness of grass (crunch of the snow) underneath your feet, hear the sound of the wind, see the beauty of the flight of birds, smell the plants, etc. 

Robyn D’Angelo, LMFT Laguna Hills, CAI recently learned about (and share with my clients) the Hierarchy of Living a Healthy Life: 1) SELF 2) GOD (or whatever you connect to spiritually) 3) OTHERS. Which looks like this: on a daily, the first 30 minutes of your day are you getting moving (walking, running, stretching - whatever works for you) & eat a healthy breakfast. Next is time with your higher power (out in nature, praying, meditating, journaling, reading, etc). And Lastly: others. Which means not checking cell phones, email, social media or tv of any kind I till you've cared for #'s 1&2 first. One of the simplest ways to make #3 stay at #3 in the hierarchy, is to turn off all alerts on your phone/iPads so that you have to manually open any apps/email to see new messages. It's amazing how our brains learn to crave these small alerts upon waking. Do this for a week and you notice a shift. Do this for a month and you feel peace. Do this daily for as long as you can and you develop a sense of clarity and ease that you've never experienced before.

Patty Behrens, MFT - Fresno, CA I encourage clients to take a "time out" during the day, a mini brain break to "single focus" on one of their five senses, sight, sound, touch, taste or smell. Whether at work or at home, take 5 minutes (or more if able). For sight, you look at one object and notice colors, shades of color, texture, designs, every little detail while also doing deep breathing. For sounds, you sit back, close your eyes while you listen to all the sounds, closer sounds will appear first, then less noticeable sounds will be heard. This is especially nice to do outside. Touch should also be done with the eyes closed. It can involve petting an animal, feeling the texture of an object or touching whatever is around you while noticing the textures, designs, temperature, all the little details. Smell and taste are done in a similar fashion. It could be smelling a candle, essential oil, piece of fruit, flower or the outdoors. It's amazing out this simple activity will provide a sense of calmness.

Lisa Bowker, MSW - Providence, RI. I like to remind clients to check in during their day and notice if they can feel a connection to their bodies and the earth. It's so easy to get caught up in our minds. I invite them to imagine bringing your energy or awareness down through your body again, like a gentle waterfall, until you can feel the earth underneath your feet again.

Kelly Montgomery MA, LMFT Oakland, CA  I have “no screen” time. Phones off, TV off, etc. Low input time to listen to hear what might have been drown out not out around me, but inside. It's a mindfulness practice.

I'm inspired by these ideas from my fellow therapists. Share your favorite ways of nurturing yourself in the comments below! 

You deserve your love and affection